18 Comments

This hit so hard 💔💔💔

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❤️❤️❤️

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I'm the same age as you and lived essentially the exact same life. I was talking about this same meme with friends a week ago. But I think I might agree with your editors--even at the time, things were already falling apart. I think the appropriate Tony Soprano quote is "why do I always have to come in at the end of things?" Even getting into digital media in the early 2010s, I was constantly being laid off and underpaid and fucked around, I just cared less because I was younger and had fewer responsibilities. But eventually it wore me down and I quit. The real difference to me feels like how much money people had to throw around back then. Every night there was an open bar with some dumb free swag. But that wouldn't stop them from laying off your whole office. We were just running around to whoever had the money spigot on for the moment. I of course miss this time but I also think it's just because I miss being younger and not worrying so much about whether I have a job with health insurance or maternity leave. Anyway, it was a time. <3 u/h8 u/miss u digital media.

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So many people miss the old internet.

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Oh yes. The $10 an hour internship, free lunches, intense bonding. This was The Daily Beast! Thank you for articulating an experience I thought was so specific to my own life. And I miss websites, too.

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Great read! I spent most of my 20’s and 30’s in the East Village, working mostly as an actor, and it was fuckin MAGICAL. I arrived in 2006 and left shortly before the pandemic. I had a lovely visit for the first time since then last year, and although I’ll love her forever, alas, Gotham is no longer so fair…

But I say GODDAM what a time to be alive, and young, and creating so much of the time :-)

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[james murphy voice] i was there

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lmao "losing my edge" was prominently featured in an early draft of this essay. thank you for understanding the vibe.

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My brain is so friend that it went “[Taylor swift voice] I was there, I remember it all too well”

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oh, that would have been next

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There’s a concept Reddit loves, “Oh no! The Leopards ate my face!”. Redditors, of course, act like this concept only applies to their ideological enemies - namely anyone who is vaguely right wing or even moderate at this point.

You are part of a cohort of people that have helped undermine and destroy your own credibility. Leopards that have somehow managed to eat their own faces. The fact that Taylor Lorenz, one of the most unserious and undeserving people on the net, vibes with this piece (and that you responded to her favorably), underscores this point.

The people in media truly have no one else but themselves to blame for its current state. I was a lot like you in 2013, but I never could’ve lived your life - I had the wrong opinions, and I’m not a woman nor a man masquerading as something else to benefit from Oppression Hierarchy, so people never give me free shit. As scummy and cancerous as the CEO class is, they are opportunistic and currently very risk adverse. What does that mean? It means that they took an easy bet when they started eviscerating your industry. Certain people - many regular people as well - are cheering its demise, and the rise of the Parallel Economy in its place.

This was inevitable, because ultimately Capital isn’t to blame - Capital just smelled the blood in the water. Audiences abandoned you, and turned to other mediums, other writers, other outlets, whom wouldn’t associate with and elevate the Taylor Lorenz’ of the world. Insufferable and insane. Detached and out of touch. Obsessed with themselves and how right they think they are.

I’m glad you enjoyed it though. Most of us were still toiling in the mediocrity then that you existentially fear now. Welcome to the club.

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Sub in “automotive media” for sports media and you have my story almost to the letter. I even wrote for Jalopnik, which was never better than when it was under the Gawker umbrella. Thanks for sharing.

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I feel as if I've read some version of this from almost every generation (or even half-generation ~a decade) of media journalists. I know of one absolutely brilliant opera critic who was released in the decade prior to you and never really recovered, though he had a blog that was read by everyone in the industry, and though every major opera journalist in the city attended his funeral when he died of a massive heart attack at 43.

I suppose I share that to say that you can't trust invested capital. The only way this is going to work is if a commons is built by varied journalists with capital, it's organized as a commons from the get-go, and the subscription — and resource — is managed for the maximum benefit of all stakeholders.

https://subvert.fm — comes to mind. As does the Alaska model:

https://lanceschaubert.substack.com/p/who-owns-the-sky-the-gold-the-oil

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I turned 23 in 1989. Same. True, we didn’t get the web becoming a big deal for another six years, and the preferred medium for getting notice on your writing career was zines and semiprozines, but same.

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Have you looked into the rise of nonprofit newsrooms? Not saying it's a solution, but if you ever wanna chat about their role in this, lmk <3

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queens instead of brooklyn for me, and [unspecified website] instead of buzzfeed, but the tiktok person also described my 20s, on paper at least. so this piece was the biggest of oofs (in a good way)

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What do you do now?

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Love this

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